I always felt like I was better at expressing my thoughts into writing rather than actually speaking. There’s always a lot going on in my head. I don’t know why and of what all the time, but I do know that I’m constantly thinking about multiple things that are unnecessary. Especially about bad things. Not necessarily bad things, but things that I shouldn’t dwell upon. Petty mistakes from me and people around me, the things people do, the way people say things, every outcome possible to a scenario, etc. Maybe this is why I’m so open-minded, but maybe this is why I’m so close-minded at the same time. I think about every little possible thing which makes me open-minded because I kind of already expected a certain result and whether it happens or not, I won’t be offended about what they do I always like to expect the worst in emotional scenarios, so when I mean close-minded, I mean that I keep my guard up and that the worst possible thing will happen in that scenario. That kills me. I can’t escape my fake reality sometimes.
Sometimes I wonder why certain things happen to certain people. And sometimes, I want to understand why we blame things like God or other people or even ourselves for what happens to us, but that’s just what life is. Life is about getting hurt, it’s about experiencing new things, it’s about learning from our mistakes, it’s about fucking up and getting back up again. Life is everything we don’t expect it to be. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to mourn, it’s okay to be mad and upset, it’s okay to be all those things, but not for so long that we forget to go on with our own lives. Sometimes we have to understand that things can’t always go that way we want them to be, we have to forgive and forget, we have to remember time heals all things if we let it, we have to learn from our mistakes and grow from them, we have to remember some things aren’t meant to stay in our lives but can stay in our hearts forever, we have to appreciate all the things we’re blessed with in life and always remember things that we were once blessed with but left. Most importantly, we have to remember Everything Happens For A Reason. Everything in life falls into place in between all of our losses and gains, and in between all of that, we have to realize that we all have a reason to live. Whether or not we want to move on from the past, life goes on either way.